Number Six_Super Long Post!

North Carolina is sooo pretty and fun! I am having a blast here with my family and we have been doing many different things. The view is awesome. I don’t think NC has any flat land, its all a thing of mountains everywhere you look. The first day we went to the downtown center area and the town was so cute and fun. We walked around a little until it started to drizzle. The roads here are very narrow though and many sharp turns since were always riding on a mountains - many slopes too! After we ate we went hiking up Chimney Rock with Lauren who is 4 years old and was dying. We only hikes like half of it and when we finished her little legs were shaking.


On Monday we went to the Cavern which was a cave, there was one bat inside (which means we got lucky because they mostly go in the winter time) - it was nice and cold and it was cool to see the still water inside that was over 300 feet deep. They had a gift shop and Lauren and Sam got Rasta bracelets., we told Lauren that you make a wish and once it breaks it will come true. Well she decided to say her wish out loud. “I wish for Vampire!” which is who she calls the guy I like, she  has a little crush on him and thinks he is a vampire because he has sharp teeth. It was cute because the bracelet slid off because it’s a little big and she was like where is my wish?! Then my aunt tried explaining that is wasn’t a vampire but it didn’t work and then tried figuring out why she liked him so much and kept talking about him. (she does a lot!) She said it was because I like him and because he is a vampire. It was so cute.
Then after we headed over to Linville Falls which was a half mile hike to a waterfall that was very pretty. It is so peaceful here and the air is nice and cooling. I got some good pictures.


Today we went horseback riding, we actually just got back. My horse kept trying to bite me because I wasn’t allowed to let her eat the grass. She got mad at me but it was fun because she wasn’t that slow and it felt cool being on a horse again. We also mined there in a cave and I got some cool shaped rocks (one looks like a heart).


Tomorrow we get to go white water rafting, I’m looking forward to that. It will probably feel good here in the heat. Then I think on Thursday were going to Grandfather Mountain which is like a very popular hike but also has a zoo and amusement park which I find pretty amazing!


The cabin were staying in is so cool, Sam and I have the whole bottom floor to ourselves, we get bad service though because its like a basement kind of and half underground. The place is nice and roomy and were on our own private road onto of a mountain, next to a river!
Sam and I have been having crazy moments at night, we even had a bug incident in our room that made us crack up afterwards. We can get a little crazy but its nothing bad. Last night we were planning on going to bed early though because we had to wake up at  8 a.m., well we ended up going to sleep at 3 a.m. but it was worth it because we had like a 2 hour talk about God and I got to share my testimony with her and tell her about my faith and hear her side of it. I am going to try and bring her to my church some day soon, when we get back. I even prayed with her which was cool because I don’t normally pray with anyone except my one friend.


Speaking of him, we haven’t really talked this trip, which is good I guess but I do miss him and when Sam talks to her BF, it makes me want someone to talk to and I cant. The service problem here helps though because it blocks me from talking to him as much which is keeping the break with us. I just hope he is missing me too, I want to be missed, but I don’t think I’m a person that anyone will miss. Oh well.


Another cool moment I had here was I got to see fireflies for the first time. It was cool but I was scared to catch them when I did I scream and let go! They also have a hot tub and Sam and I went in it yesterday and joked around with pictures. The night before the family was all there and we had a talk about faith and evolution which was interesting for me to be a part of and experience. I have been slacking on my reading here but I try and read a chapter in Matthew every night and pray before bed and in the morning, I just hope I’m being sincere and not trying to get it over with like before.


That’s all for now, probably wont write till im home but maybe when we stay at a hotel Saturday ngiht on our way home, we’ll see… be home Sunday!


~Staying Strong.

Number Five_Vacation

Today is packing day! I'm so excited I will be heading to North Carolina sometime tomorrow morning and won't be back till July 3rd. Its going to be about a 15 hour car ride-- that I'm not looking forward to but we will be stopping at a hotel I believe tomorrow night and will arrive saturday :) I'm also exited to see my cousins again, my little 4 year old cousin Lauren is so freaking cute and is in love with Justin Beiber, Miley Cyrus's 'party in the USA' and Big Time Rush- she is a big dancer when it comes to them :) my other cousin is older but younger than me but she is fun to be around- she can bring the crazy fun side out of me sometimes- we defiantly have some awesome memories. Now this one person that left me for camp :( is coming home tomorrow ! I won't see him though until I get back. It's funny because I keep expecting to see him then don't, like at church last night I expected him to walk through the doors for rehearsal but of course he didn't but I was all right it didn't make me sad-  i guess I'm just expecting it and it's not that long apart- I'm not dying without him :)
Well see how 10 more days go ;) 
Now I'm heading to Yogurtland with one of my best friends - best place ever and this break with him is good because I got to hang with her even though I don't think I isolate from my other friends because of him so it's good :) and me and her have been hanging out all day and catching up on stuff - I've missed her :) 
Last night is like a whole other story but I'll make it short... I was very distracted in church, I don't know why and it wasn't like one thing on my mind- it was everything! Very frustrating. I tried not to be emo about it and be depressed but i felt like i was losing my connection with God. But the guy I like called me and prayed with me and for me and then he read the bible with me since I have distracted with that too :/ I know, it's bad. I felt so much better after our (3 hour?) talk and my text with my awesome mentor :) it was a vent/ confession help thing :P  
~Staying Strong.

Number Four_ Just Gonna Try and Keep Busy

So today is the day... He left. He won't be back till Friday - not long right? 
well.. I leave for 10 days the day before he gets back sooooo that means I leave 
right when he gets back so I pretty much miss seeing him and won't for like 2 or 
2 and a half weeks! He gets back the day after I leave. Fail. But it could be a 
good thing, I mean this is how it turned out so it's God's plan...

Anyways today is Fathers day!  Happy fathers day to all the dads out there btw! 
<33 
I celebrated my fathers day with my family yesterday because my brother had to 
work today.. 
Yesterday I had the guy I like come and my best friend come over and we watched 
New Moon and then the guy came with my family and I to dinner at Outback then 
afterwards him and my mom and I went to see the movie Mr. Popper's Penguins- 
sooo funny and it's cute! I loved it and so did he! 

Today on fathers day I went to church where a really good message took place <3 
and even enjoyed small groups afterwards a lot :) 
Then after I was talking with friends about to say bye to my friend who left today for camp but then he asked me to watch his stuff- I said how long because I was hungry and 
didn't want to wait around all day doing nothing he said like 30 minutes so I 
said no and helped him put it in his car :) wellllll he ended up locking his 
keys inside the trunk so I drove to the house where he was picking up a suitcase 
for camp - the husband and wife (both of our mentors) were about to go to 
lunch for fathers day so we had a quick talk and then I went back to the church- 
not far away - were we got a spare key and got the car opened - meanwhile I got 
a call from our mentors, inviting me and him to join them in lunch- we accepted 
and had a fun time with them and I was happy to be able to spend his last day 
here with him..
After lunch we went to his place (his stepdad was there) where i helped him pack 
and his stepdad loved the card he gave him- he got a tear in his eye and 
everything and it was amazing to see how happy he was- I was proud he did 
that <3 

Now I won't see him till july 3rd or 4th-I get back the 3rd and that means we 
won't be together on our 7 months of dating :) woot it's been so long! Haha we 
will have to have a special day together wen we are both back in town <3 

~Staying Strong. 

Number Three_ It's Craziness

I'm scared I might have an eating disorder... Not that I want to intentionally but well here is what happened...
The other day (3 days ago?) I woke up and had a cupcake for breakfast and felt sick and didn't finish it then I had a yogurt and felt like I was going to puke. So I just went and laid down and then I was just feeling like crap and couldn't eat for the rest of the day... Then the next day my stomach still bothered me and I had a headache I went to a friends house and the only thing I had was chips that whole day- then that night they had this dinner event at my church so I volunteered to help watch some kids in the nursery. I had a headache and felt weak and so was in a bad mood when my friend started annoying me with the kid I was watching and the one he was holding... 
Then that night I almost couldn't drive home but I managed to make it to my driveway ( thank god I live a few blocks away) and I couldn't walk to my front door. I called my mom and she came home and helped me... The next day I started feeling better but I didn't eat in the morning since I had church and I never do till after but during small groups I had a little bit of ice cream and when a group of friends went to pollo tropical for lunch to celebrate a friends birthday I didn't eat - I wasn't starving or anything I was alright. 
After lunch my friend called me out on my attitude and I knew I was acting differently and I think it was because of not eating but he started acting different too- I think it was a reaction to me though. We had plans to go to our friends house and watch a movie but we talked for awhile about things happening and made sure I ate something first and we prayed which helped me feel a lot better. God is our strength and hope. 
So things have been getting a lot better besides my mess up at our friends house- I kind of said something out loud that was secret- luckily I don't think the rest heard but the one it was about did and we had to talk about it afterwards.. But he forgave me and so I hope it is all okay now... 
So the theory my friend and I have for the not eating is because the day before the stomachache I was at this friends house and we talked about weight.. Not that I think I'm extremely fat or anything I know I'm not I would just feel better if I lost 2 or 3 pounds on my stomach and I know "who am I trying to impress?" but I just want to feel happy in my own skin for me and I do get into the worldly view on looks sometimes and it's something I'm trying to not let effect me but anyways with this in my head I think it mentally made me sick to think of food. I don't know. But I would never starve myself on purpose I don't think. Well today I ate 2 slices if pizza and feeling good so hopefully I can continue to eat and then start working out in a healthy way :) 
~Staying Strong. 

Number Two _ Already...

Alright so I told him I wasn't mad and I'm trying my best to not be and I think I even changed my voice to make him believe that I wasn't - Not like he bought it but I think he just accepted it.. 
Okay so I'm a little bit annoyed.. It's just I hate waiting around and doing nothing when I made plans to do something it makes things more boring and it feels like i could have done something better and I just don't like the fact that I texted him and everything that I was ready and after 20 minutes I decided to call him before it would get to late and he was on the computer for 20 minutes. I hate that - if he didn't want to do something he shouldn't have suggested anything or should have told me he changed my mind and honestly I would be okay with that - we don't have to hang out and I wasn't planning on it anyways today but we were both bored and I had some time to kill before my dads and one episode of heroes left in season one so I figured why not? So I got ready and he said he was and then waited.. I went in the computer and tried figuring stuff out with my email but my internet is being stupid and more frustrating so now I'm bored and my dad said he is going to target with my brother so he will tell me when he gets home - so it will be later than 6.. More boredom and more time we could have had to watch heroes.. Whatever not like I care anyways :/
~Staying Strong. 

Number One _ The Beginning

Alright so I decided I'm going to try this blog thing out. I think it will help me write more again and I'm hoping it might help someone going through the same thing. 


This is going to be about love or staying positive through hard times or maybe just about me and what I'm going through, maybe it will help you but I know it will help me vent more. 


Since my life sometimes seem so dramatic sometimes I figured it was time I write it down and give myself advice for the next time. My goal is to write at least once a week on the day of or after something happens. It could be a thought or something hard I'm going through like praying or dealing with stuff with friends and relationships. Maybe even family issues- i haven't figured out how much I want to put on here but I think it will help me and others - I can only hope. I want to try and not write anything short as the weeks go on because that is kind of like cheating :P So i am going to do my best and hopefully not give up :) 
~Staying Strong.