Number Eleven_First College Class!

First day of college at BC was awesome, just saying! hopefully the rest of the school year will be just as cool. So far I like it better than my high school..... thought I think I will love yearbook now that I want to get into photography
Seniors 2012!! <3
Applying for jobs nowwwww :)
~Staying Strong.

Number Ten_ Senior Year Begins!!

I just feel like I need to let everything out... So much is going on right now 
:/ 

First thing that's a bog deal to me is my faith. I feel like it's shaken and 
it's not going so well.. I haven't talked to anyone about it yet I feel like I 
have no one who will care right now well maybe my mentor but I haven't called 
her up yet- maybe this week :) anyways iv been really sick which made me slack 
on bible and prayer because I Wouk take medicine and just crash and just feel to 
sick. Then like in church today, I felt so distracted by things, I don't know 
why but it made me cry a little in my seat - it sucked I dorm even know what the 
whole message was on! 

Next thing is school, it's my debit year! Already it's been a week and I'm 
failing history because my teacher made me take a quiz when I missed 2 out of 
the 3 days we had lessons because I was absent from being sick :,( so I 
literally have an F right now (59) and I hope to get things straightened out 
tomorrow :/ ( wish me luck) another thing is my attitude with my teachers - I 
really hope I don't become to prideful and act careless - I wanna act like I did 
last year when I did all my work butbi can see my channel now, I'm trying to 
catch myself and change my act - it's not good and respectful and not honoring 
God. 
Tomorrow is the first day I start. Dual enrollment at BC! I'm so nervous and 
excited at the same time. I think I'm gonna get lost though because my friend 
who says is gonna show me around has 15 mintues to meet up with me and show me 
before we start our next classes :/ so I'm nervous how it will work out. 

So the guy I like started his job which means no time together- I hope thins 
will work out between us with communication so far it's seems pretty hectic and 
I don't know how I'm going to handle it because I'm selfish and I like to talk. 
Also he is goi to be tired and then when he isn't working he has school and 
homework and church things so I'll probably never see him :,( 
My mom wants me to get a job but it's more like she I gonna force me and I'm 
scared. I want something i would like and be good at. I am more motored now that 
my friend has one and will be busy and now that I get out of school early 
because of dual enrollment. My mom also is making me pay for things I want so I 
am motivated because I finally found a new clothes style i want to try out for 
myself that I think will be cute and am also getting really into photography and 
want to save up for a camera. Yes a lot has been happening with me :) 

Oh and today I went out on our new boat for the second time with my mom and her
friend and 2 young kids, it was crazy because her kids were miserable and 
complained about everything but I still was nice and helped out and offered to 
babysit :) also there was crazy big jellyfish- never seen them this big! But I 
got stung six times :,( 

Oh and tonight I almost finished my new project - I'm so evicted about it - I 
can't wait till September for all the birthdays comic up! exactly two more weeks 
:D oh and Tuesday is my 9 months of dating <3  
~Staying Strong. 

Number Nine_Don't Know What To Do Anymore

I don't know how much I should write on here but life has been getting crazy for me. I have been busy and keeping busy with summer reading, friends, events with church communities, etc. I haven't even seen my dad in about a month, I really do miss him, I know I am a horrible daughter.
Things have been pup and down with my friend and I. We have been hanging out at camp and church events but not really communicating. Last night I was about to call quits, but his persistence kept me going I guess, and the fact I don't want it to end. I like him to much. I have been hurt before but it hurts more with the thought of not having in my life, even as just a friend.
We been slacking on praying together, I believed we missed to days this week, which sucks but we were babysitting one night and I got mad at him and then the other I got scared about something, so that was my fault. Also he got a job! Now his schedule will be different and with school coming up we probably wont hang out much but I hope and think it will be a good thing for each other, especially with not being boyfriend and girlfriend it will probably make us step back a little and breathe. I will probably be bored now but school will keep me busy and I'm hoping I'll reconnect with school friends and hang out with them more, I'm a bad friend.
So now I think we had established to take steps back, I am honestly still confused where we stand. I told him lets give it time to think about. I still have hope and I believe so does he. I think he said he was willing to wait and hold on, that made me feel loved. It made me not want to give up too, and honestly I don't I just don't know if I can do the change, if I can handle it. I don't think I'm good enough for him, I'm too much baggage and feel like a little kid in need of a babysitter now.
Now to add more stress I have a book and half to finish and 3 reading assignments to do in less than 2 weeks :o See ya!
~Staying Strong.